Archive for the ‘Weird News’ Category

Bay Guardian vs SF Weekly – jury selection begins today

Newspaper industry folks & curious legal observers alike are gearing up at SF’s Superior Court for the 4 years in the waiting, Bay Guardian Co. vs New Times Media trial, for which jury selection begins this Thursday.
For those not keeping track, Guardian publisher Bruce Brugmann contends that for years “predatory” ad pricing practices from New Times owned SF Weekly & it’s then sister paper The East Bay Express were designed to put the Guardian at a disadvantage. No one likely doubts that the SF Weekly & Bay Guardian have a rivalry, but the question is, was the wealthier New Times chain operating within the law?
New Times ( founded in Phoenix Az and now also merged with Village Voice & LA Weekly as well as over a dozen other newsweeklies nationwide), have dismissed the claims made by Brugmann, and counter that he is just a feeble businessman unable to meet market demands.

Who Do You Love/Loathe?

leave yer answers in the comments after the jump…

Second Life requires "banks" get a second look, and FDIC approval

SF based Linden Labs, whose fantasy Second Life website creation is supposedly becoming more popular all the time, is also starting to find out about the risks in managing a large “virtual” population. Apparently, after wooing in users whose real lives were lacking and needed online fleshing out, the company now needs to weed out the scam artists who are anything but “fake”.

An apparent proliferation of financial scams including non-FDIC-insured banks has brought about “unique and substantial risks” that are threatening the Second Life economic structure.

Like we don’t have enough problems in the “real” economy these days, it makes getting ripped off on Craigslist or Ebay seem absolutely quaint in comparison

Caveat Emptor Virtual Citizens!

and even dumber details after the jump…


Convicted Terrorist Plotter sues Berkeley Professor for $1

A court room thousands of miles away in Miami on Tuesday hosts the sentencing hearings for convicted “terrorist plotter” Jose Padilla, but he and his mother, with the help of Yale legal scholar Jonathon Friedman have also started legal proceedings right here in San Francisco.

San Francisco’s Federal Court became part of an intriguing and intertwining legal legacy last Friday, when a suit was filed against a Berkeley Law Professor. Padilla ( one of the few “evil doers” ever convicted in the wake of the Bush Admin’s post-9/11 Homeland Security craze that swept the US), is angry at Boalt Hall’s John Yoo… and wants a symbolic dollar in damages ( although his lawyers want their full fees of course).

Padilla, a U.S Citizen who was born in Brooklyn and once claimed membership in Chicago’s “Maniac Latin Disciples” street gang was later termed an “illegal enemy combatant” after the government announced a “dirty bomb” plot in 2002. Thus began a long & winding legal odyssey in which precedents were few and far between, many challenges were filed, some initial charges were dropped, then reinstated, and evidence seldom matched allegations. All along, Padilla’s rotating cast of legal representatives claimed the case was an overblown example of overdue process, in which torture was employed on US soil “as part of a systematic program” that “intended to break down Mr. Padilla’s humanity and will to live”. Eventually, Padilla was convicted by the Feds last August.

But the story doesn’t stop there…

(more after the jump)

Fried Chicken, Free Tacos, Soap & Water on the Skids This Sunday

Too Much Pork For Just One Fork…

it’s one of my favorite songs by “Southern Culture On The Skids” who are in town on Sunday night…but apparently if you want the free pork, you’ll need to look up their locally based labelmate Chuck Prophet.

Sunday afternoon, local rooty rawk maestro Chuck Prophet returns from his recent European tour foray with his band the Mission Express, and plays a free set at Amoeba Records on Haight St at 2 pm. Later that same night follow the El Tonayense taco truck to the Makeout Room for the free tacos out front in celebration of Prophet’s new album “Soap & Water” on North Carolina based Yep Roc records.
Chuck claims The El Tonayense folks:

“do a killer “al pastor” which is sort of like a Mexican doner kebab; a slow cooked pork thinly sliced off the spit with a machete-like knife.”


Don’t forget to get in the club to hear the mighty Mission Express run through their retinue of rocking new material lab tested over the past few weeks on the European continent. It’ll be yer only chance for awhile, as the band splits to head out across the great divide on a North American campaign until December. It’s all going down at an early show scheduled to start at 8pm, which means you have time to head over to The Great American Music Hall later that night to catch Chuck’s Yep Roc labelmates “Southern Culture On The Skids” who are known to fling bulging buckets of Fried Chicken and down home danceable sounds around in copious quantities…

Preview tracks via mp3’z from both bands after the jump

Journey’s Not Alone Singing About The Lights Going Down On The City

Cue a certain Journey rock anthem:

When The Lights Go Down… On The City…

Journey’s not the only one’s talkin’ about…Lights Out San Francisco.

Actually not everybody is talking about Lights Out SF, but a fair number of media outlets and bloggers are excited enough to report on about a 1 hour period on Saturday when the lights will voluntarily go out in certain participating buildings …

Unlike the military ordered brownouts of the 1940’s, when the coast feared for sneaky attacks from the seas, this one just makes it hard to see. I think that some electricity is saved, perhaps an hours worth.

According to the non-profit mafia that runs SF these days, this is supposed be like totally awareness raising or something, at least the board of supervisors unanimously thought so when they voted to support it in August. I was surprised that even the Bay Area’s Boldest Burlingamer, Ed “Supervisor No” Jew actually voted for it, but I recalled that according to utility records he isn’t really much of a fan of having lights or water turned on at all much in San Francisco.

Lights Out SF’s main organizer Brian Scott says it’s gonna be a “pretty awesome event “, like a big ol’ 1 hour brownout party… or whatever. Maybe someone will disconnect some stoplights, that’s always hilarious.

There’s even a real live brick & mortar office at 2548 Mission St donated by Gus from Medjool restaurant where you can stop by and ask them, uh “what’s the big deal?”

“…oh and and how do I get a free compact fluorescent bulb?”

It appears the “turn off the juice & get hella loose” movement deal is so BIG and hype is so thick, one localized super snarkyblog-ist outlet was excited enough to announce that the Golden Gate Bridge tested the system last night and some 600 lights

on the suspension cables were turned off in preparation for Saturday’s Lights Out San Francisco event”


.. they even sent their erstwhile correspondent in a car in the rain who took a camera and posted a “spooky” photo of the test on the dramatic and dimly lit bridge.

Only problem with that is …

uh,well, you can read the evaluation of that after the jump, and see the very important and influential Journey video of the song that likely started it all:

The Zombies are on the move again!

Zombies invade the Apple Store

Oh dear… it’s that time again!

Good citizens of San Francisco, this is your FINAL WARNING.

There will be a ZOMBIE ATTACK TONIGHT!!!

When: 7:30pm Thursday 10/11
Wear: Duct tape on torso to indicate participation
Where: The NW corner of the Main Library
Larkin Street, by Fulton
The large metal sculpture (aka “The Double-L Gyratory Zomby Attractor”)
Google Maps:

Many of you were already taking precautions to stay far far far away
from that area already due to the San Francisco MAYORAL DEBATE going on
at the EXACT SAME TIME. Hopefully the attack will be subdued before the
the debate is completed and the hundreds of attendees leave the building
through the single exit pointed directly at Larkin and Fulton.

Those good citizens, though likely disenfranchised and disillusioned,
are not disembrained, and may thus prove IRRESISTABLE to the shambling
cerebrophillic horde.

If defeat is unsuccessful, an unknown party has offered to capture as
many zombies possible inside a bus, and drive them all to a classified
area (in the Mission) for complimentary “embalming fluid” afterwards.

More information can be found at

Celebrity San Mateo High Drop Out Goes Naked To Save Texas From It’s Meat

The same demographic that was targeted by marketers who put a scantily clad & wet Paris Hilton in Carl’s Jr ads to sell burgers is being hit again, using a locally raised celebrity.

This time though the tables are being reversed somewhat as the wet nubile blond cavorts for the cameras in order to get you away from the beef… go figger.

It must be the work of some sort of vegan sex cult… perhaps with Bill Maher as a consultant. Alicia Silverstone, who was born naked here in San Francisco is once again baring all, this time for Peta.

The first market to get the ads of the dripping pool cavorting starlet is Houston Tx, (but we have a sneak preview streaming vid below).

If you are prepared for the type of analytical observation that has to be done to fully understand our local contributions to the national culture wars, then I’ll see ya on the other side of the jump:

Metreon Murder Goes Great Until Race Car Limo Used As Getaway Car

According to SF Gate, a brawl at an outpost of sportsbar chain Jillian’s at the Metreon early Sunday morning was going great for some gun toting Oakland thugs, they even had a limo parked out front as an escape car. After firing shots that killed 27 year old Ronald Jacques, the suspects jumped in their waiting ride, ordered the driver across the bridge to get back to their East Bay base camp to celebrate.

The only problem is … it was no ordinary anonymous black town car, these flamboyant thugs like traveling in style, and that style includes using a Nascar-ified 2006 Dodge Charger SXT 10 passenger Super-Stretch Limousine with flames & racing stripes.

racing limos and guns go great together

According to Bay Area Racing Limos, the garishly painted custom built vehicle is worth an estimated $80,000 and features 5 flat screen monitors, high-end Kenwood sound system, Playstation II, Karaoke system, integrated Ipod port, mirrored/lighted ceiling, 3 ice chests, interior/exterior strobes, laser and rope lights. The perfect for way for the status conscious extreme criminal element to travel in radical rented style.

Unfortunately for our traveling crew, the obviousness of their getaway vehicle and descriptions from witnesses I mean snitches, those darn cops were able to find the car on 580 before it dropped off it’s criminal cargo …

Actual pics and how you can rent it (when the cops eventually release it from impound) for your next moronic murder spree or NASCAR theme wedding after the jump…

Newsom & Dellums promise “the nation’s largest urban area collaboration”… or with your $30 million, at least the most expensive

Forget that free WiFi folks … we’ve got something better in the pipeline to appease ye voting types…we’re talking actual working walkie talkies and stuff like that.

Huh? What’s that?
Oakland’s Ron Dellums shows off the Bay Area’s current emergency communications system he & Gavin Newsom intend to string together with $30 million in tax money they found laying around.

Apparently, moving radio waves & data between Oakland and SF is just a dream right now, but someday we may even be able to transmit communications all the way to Sacramento and San Jose. This of course requires building a special “emergency” system capable of true cross bay communications, and Dellums & Newsom, by golly, are just the sort of high tech, get things done political masterminds to take credit for this modern miracle possibly happening in your lifetime.

The two Bay Area big city mayor’s are excitedly announcing their 5 year plans to create communication between their once far off towns and add that getting a hold of over $30 million in federal dough would be a real good start.

I kid ye not, yesterday using the pretext of Sept 11th as a mighty powerful day to announce their grand plans, Oakland’s zombie grandfather dude, I mean, uh mayor, Ron Dellums and his devious youthful cross bay rival Newsom issued a joint press release.

The intriguing title was San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom and Oakland Mayor Ron Dellums Launch Regional Initiative to Connect Bay Area Public Safety Agencies

Just what is a regional initiative you ask?

Well first of all… it’s not just any initiative, it’s part of a “Super Urban Security Initiative

Second of all it’s also “strategic”

Third of all it pays ” tribute to the fallen”

So don’t go making fun of it either…

Apparently the busy twosome, Newsom & Dellums have been hard at work behind the logistical scenes, and can now promise an actual “initiative” to create a working Oakland to SF gov’t emergency radio communications network that starts at the low, low introductory price of just over $30 Million!

The current system of two cans connected by string is considered outmoded by the guy who sells Motorola Razr accessories at the mall.sfcans.gif

One gets the feeling that not since the telegraph has a communications breakthrough of this magnitude happened, and it’s nice to know that Bay Area emergency responders stand to benefit from the advancements in technology that might make this crazy dream a reality. Perhaps in another 5 years, whomever is mayor then might get to announce the invention of Cable Television, or Microwave Popcorn. One day it is believed, if things keep moving forward, man may even walk on the moon and Charlton Heston will awaken to find himself on a Planet of The Apes ( which is actually Earth !). Carnac predicts as well that Marky Mark will likely leave his Funky Bunch and then sign on to do a remake..

Well for those who were busy yesterday and somehow overlooked this stunning news, I’ll just let ya get at it yourself. It’s got some especially powerful & appropriate Mayoral quotes lauding their own joint decision making prowess. I proudly present this unaltered and largely unprecedented dual press release in it’s entirety after the jump…

Commemorating Sept 11th – Bay Area Style

While “ground zero” in Manhattan will almost certainly feature a Rudy Giuliani sighting and be the focus of much mainstream media attention on September 11th, there will be other distractions and gatherings afoot here on the left coast.

While Megadeth entertains the metal masses at The Warfield, I see that the Alcoholocaust crew have booked a more intimate affair with perennial political punkers M.D.C at Annie’s Social Club that night.

Most popularly known as Millions of Dead Cops, and alternately Multi-Death Corporations, the guys are not without a sense of humor, and have tempered their raging fury at times with humorous odes to preparing tofu spaghetti & respecting the rights of chickens to roam free while doing the “chicken dance”. I believe my fave MDC show was on Divisidero in 1988 at the late Kennel Club ( now The Independent) when the appeared as Mourn Divine Correctly as lead singer Dave donned a beehive wig & ball gown to celebrate the life of the late John Waters’ film starlet.

If drag is your thing, but you take it pretty darn seriously perhaps head over to Club Crash on Sept 11th to attend the the Transgender Law Center’s fifth anniversary. One has to wonder who booked the oddly insensitive named choice for a venue called Club Crash for an Anniversary Party on the typically bleak day of Sept. 11th . Gotta love that sick sense of humor displayed by SF Human Rights Commissioner and Transgender Law Center co-founder Cecilia Chung & crew…

Another Gay themed event occurs at Castro’s Books Inc. store, a release party for a collection of gay erotica edited by Simon Sheppard called Homosex: A Celebration.

The 11th Annual Madcat women’s film festival begins with screenings, and a free Bar BQ plus a performance by musical guests Amber Asylum at The El Rio.

In the East Bay, conspiracy buffs will gather at Oakland’s Grand Lake Theater, the politically purposeful movie palace hosting a 9/11 Truth Film Festival & symposium beginning Sept 10th and running through Tuesday Sept 11th.

Details on these events and links to more info including PowerPoint slides of engineering analysis of the WTC buildings’ collapse after the jump

Terms of use | Privacy Policy | Content: Creative Commons | Site and Design © 2009 | Metroblogging ® and Metblogs ® are registered trademarks of Bode Media, Inc.