Nooooo! Don’t Leave Me Like This!

Plopping down in Cafe Evolution’s Alice chair, I noticed this rather disconcerting yellow paper obscuring my view of the people passing outside.

evolved.JPG

That, dear readers, is a change of ownership sign. At first, I though, hmmm, well, the owner did look a bit frazzled last time I saw her, and the restaurant business is notorious for chewing up and spitting out many who think “gee, a cafe would be fun.”

Strolling over to chat with my favorite employee, however, turned this day (already not the best because of that whole first-day-of-school thing) into a total loss.

One month from today, Cafe Evolution will shut its doors, remain dark for one month’s renovation, and return as . . . .

A vegan and raw food restaurant.

A WHAT? We’re the Sunset for crissakes. Keep your crazy hippie food restaurant away. Like in the Mission or something. We eat meat. There are damn buffalos down the block. Isn’t it enough that we go without sunshine for much of the year (dangerous lack of Vitamin D), now you want to chip away at our sources of iron and essential amino acids?

Gone will be the chicken and cheese sandwiches. Gone the pear salad with chicken and topped with cheese shavings. Gone will be what’s become quite the hot study spot. Yeah, you heard me UCSF, USF, and UCH students: restaurants aren’t cafes.

How? Why? Why now? And VEGAN? Damn, (and here’s where I’m just inviting nasty, self-righteous comments the likes of which have not been seen since I took on the self-deluded pit bull lovers of SF) I have met, to date, one bearable vegan. Just one. One girl who doesn’t feel the need to interject her self-imposed dietary restrictions on every single conversation and every blessed meal planning discussion in which she takes part. The rest roam the city, clearly hungry and suffering from malnutrition, squawking about their vegan needs and inability to eat what God and Mother Nature found just fine for humans since we climbed gingerly from primordial slime, sprouted fur, and embraced the Toyota Prius. I am convinced this behavior is attributable to the simple fact that they are starving and their protein deficient bodies have begun to ravage themselves in hope of finally getting some red meat.

And yet . . . . no, no, I don’t hate you, vegans. I just hate that my neighborhood haven is being taken from me after such a short period of time. I’m sure the restaurateurs of Cafe Gratitude who are Cafe Evolution’s new owners will give something shiny and new to this neighborh- . . . NO! Cafe Gratitude? Even the name is wishywashy.

And so my time posting from Cafe Evolution is nearly at an end it seems. Check it out before it goes. Even though they STILL haven’t linked back to Metroblogging SF, they’ll still be missed.

5 Comments so far

  1. seamus (unregistered) on August 22nd, 2005 @ 7:35 pm

    FUCK! That is total bullshit. Bulllllll-shit.


  2. Daghan Altas (unregistered) on August 23rd, 2005 @ 10:56 am

    Christiana,

    This was hillarious. Part of me couldn’t help but agree with your assessments (I am ashamed to admit it).

    You are in for a bigger surprise when you read the Cafe Gratitude’s menu. They have meals called “I feel grateful”, “I am plenty”, “I am plenty great”, and stuff like that…

    I went there (accidentally) last Sunday for breakfast. The food was really great (so you should try it at least once!) but it was different. Then I suddenly realized that the milk in my granola bowl was NOT milk but almond water (whose idea was it to fake milk with almonds anyways?).

    But the real story is when I suddenly felt curtious and opened the door for someone who was just coming in. Instead of saying “Thanks!”, she goes “I am grateful…”.

    Too much calm and peace for a meet-lover like me.


  3. seamus (unregistered) on August 23rd, 2005 @ 11:02 am

    I linked to this. I wish we could campaign to keep Evolution open… but the owner has to love a cafe to keep it good.

    http://rangelife.typepad.com/rangelife/2005/08/muerta_la_revol.html


  4. Wes (unregistered) on October 6th, 2005 @ 3:49 pm

    Although I loved Cafe Evolution, cause it was the only place around where I could get Peet’s Coffee…I am one of those fucking hippies (except I wear nice clothes) that you defame above. I’m actually very excited for Cafe Gratitude to come. I think if you try it, you’ll find that you’ll enjoy it. But don’t take my word for it…I’m a weird veggie head.


  5. cd (unregistered) on October 6th, 2005 @ 4:16 pm

    Hey, did I say “fucking” hippies? I was angry. My cafe is gone and I’m lonely without it.

    I may love the new place, but I won’t admit it! Or maybe I will. I’ll definitely try it out, don’t worry.



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