Ask yourself:

1) Do I LOVE Zombies?
2) Would I like to support local filmmakers?
3) Do I absolutely NEED to see a movie where a free puke bag is handed out?

IF you answered yes, Yes, YES!!! Then please proceed to the Victoria Theater at 16th and Mission for a limited theater release of RETARDEAD!

Retardead is a sequel to the heart-warming “Monsturd”. This movie has everything: an evil doctor, some mentally and mortally-challenged flesheaters, and the sexy Living Dead Girlz.

As I mentioned, they are handing out a limited amount of puke bags, which you may actually need in a few parts.

Last night they had a question and answer after the show.

When I asked how much blood was used, they said about 15 gallons. Now that’s art!

I saw that occasional SF Metblogs contributor and relentless self promoter and sex book author Violet Blue is the latest recipient of the tempest in a web teapot award. The LA Times website has David Sarno covering a fracas in which any Violet Blue mentions or posts have been deleted from Boing Boing and it’s archives.

Writes Sarno:

“I’ve been wracking my brain thinking of what issues I might’ve come down on the wrong side of,” Blue told me on the phone. “There’s been no argument, there’s been no disagreement, no flame war, none of the usual things.”

Could Boing Boing really be a Stalin era throwback that wants to erase it’s own history, and somehow have the world to believe the widely read SF Gate columnist doesn’t exist?

At AdRants they speculated a possible conflict with blog ad provider Federated Media, which seemed somewhat unlikely to be involved in editorial concerns (IMHO ) since they supply ads for dozens of popular sites including the Metblogs network.

BoingBoing eventually issued it’s own terse comment and explanation after the web “sh*tstorm” lapped up on it’s serenely acerbic shores:

“[Violet’s] posts were removed from public view a year ago. Violet behaved in a way that made us reconsider whether we wanted to lend her any credibility or associate with her. It’s our blog and so we made an editorial decision, like we do every single day. We didn’t attempt to silence Violet. We unpublished our own work. There’s a big difference between that and censorship.”

Read the LA times blog, or for a more concise semi ad biz related wrap up read more at AdRants.

Calling all tiny dogs!

Tomorrow, Sunday, June 1st, at Stern Grove in San Francisco, from 12pm to 2pm, you will be able to sniff butts your own size a plenty!

A group of chihuahua-lovers on Meetup.com are holding a gathering of chihuahua’s, mixes and their cousins for all to enjoy.

A new post tomorrow will contain pictures of my own tiny companion enjoying the festivities.

Here are some helpful links:

San Francisco Chihuahua Meetup on Craigslist

Directions to Stern Grove

My wife works for the city, and she recently got a letter in the mail that promised to contain something of culturally uplifting value:

Wow! Wonder who the choreographer is?

Actually, it just turns out that somebody at the Health Service Board can’t spell:

On that note, don’t forget to cast your own ballets in ten days, and joking aside, please vote NO on 98!

One way to express your angst over your latest energy bill could be to…

DRIVE INTO THE PG&E BUILDING!

This SUV interrupted my zombie-like stagger toward work this morning… so I took a picture.

I don’t know what the human injuries were, but the PG&E building and sidewalk pseudo-obelisk seemed unphased.

There is a reason I carry a camera in my bag every day. I have three digital cameras, constantly charging, of various sizes, on the ready to capture news, odd sightings or anything in my path.

Many questions from folks have been launched at me while wandering into BART on a daily basis… “Do you want to take a FREE personally test?”, “Do you have some change?”, “Do you know where I can get some pot?”…

Yesterday, I heard, “Would you like to buy a rat for $5.00?”

(Insert trusty camera here)

This is Mia, and she sells rats in BART for $5.00.

(I used to have rats for pets and it broke my little heart
when they only lived to their meager lifespan of 2 years)

Could it be good, old-fashioned … humiliation?

It’s a rite of passage, a fraction of the cost of items, it’s prevention is a billion-dollar industry… it’s SHOP-LIFTING.

One grocery store in West Portal has decided to offer two choices to folks who purloin their goods…

1) Talk to the police…

or

2) Be openly mocked

I had quite a time joking with the shop-keep
about the woman in picture number 2!

She is clearly saying, “Well, I would… neeeevvvver…”

Apparently, she WOULD, and was caught shoveling handfuls of apples into her purse.
She was caught… red-handed… (sorry…)

Who knows if this is for real… had to post it though.

We already have a quorum for a nude torch run to happen after the official run. We are inviting you and your nude friends to join us. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make an indelible statement for human rights.

Meet: 12:30 pm sharp near the front of Tacqueria Pancho Villa - Pier 1, the Embarcadero (waterfront side) the next building north of the Ferry Building. Look for torch(es) labeled “Human Rights”.

After the Official Run passes (estimate 1:10 pm), we will jog/walk fast to Bay/Embarcadero. When the Official Torch Run returns from the Marina District, we will follow the Official Run to the closing ceremony at Justin Herman Plaza. I estimate the total distance at a little over one mile. We are not exactly a protest. We are positively pointing out:

1. The original Olympic Athletes participated nude
and
2. We support Human Rights everywhere

The original Olympic athletes covered themselves with olive oil. I will bring Baby Oil for those who wish the look. Optional: Make a faux-torch, or two, labeled “Human Rights.” If you don’t have one, don’t worry. I am happy to relay a torch to you. Note: Don’t bother with a real flame because of Fire Marshall and permit issues.

Be sure to pass on this invitation to all interested parties.

If you have any questions, contact:
George Davis - the “naked yoga guy” - coordinator of torch run (415) 722-2968

Enjoy!

The SF SPCA issued a condemnation today of an exhibit that’s been featured this month at the SF Art Institute, claiming that it is “barbaric and depraved”. Entitled “Don’t Trust Me”, the exhibition (originally slated to run through May 31 — but now canceled after outcry) was on display at 800 Chestnut St. and was featuring six short videos that are looped footage of animals getting hammered (and nope, we don’t mean getting drunk in North Beach ).

The critters, including an ox, a sheep, a horse, a pig, a goat, and a small deer are shown being beaten with a sledgehammer by the “artist”.

The invited presenting “artist”, born in Algeria, but based out of Paris, is Adel Abdessemed, who according to his own hype:

is open and generous, sensitive albeit controversial. For materials, he relies on bodily or embodied experiences (human and animal), ordinary household objects, industrial products, and even buildings. His work consists of the stark contrasts between beauty and violence, impulsiveness and rationality, romanticism and radicality, life and death.

Whatever ya wanna say about the guy, he’s from France and his money is worth more than yours these days, so there.

I actually wanna thank SFAI’s Director of Exhibitions and Public Programs and animal hammering fan Hou Hanru for bringing this unique artistic endeavor to my attention, where I once might have had to travel to a Chino slaughterhouse to see similar art. Hou’s SFAI website bio says of his curatorial and department chairing expertise :

“Hou is one of the first curators and thinkers to examine postmodern issues of nomadic identity, hybridity, globalized mobility, what he calls “in-betweeness,”

Way to go Hou !!! You impressive idea thinker you !!! Keep it up and I bet our board of supes will be fighting over which street to name after you !!!

With the combination of the sad steroids scandal shadowing baseball, and economic hard times bringing attendance down, Bud Selig and his boys have got a hard sell on their hands.

Leave it to “America’s Pastime” to pull through in a pinch, and in a country where half of all people are overweight, ya gotta keep fans fat & happy, so the teams are going all out this year…

The bloated innards of Oakland’s McAfee Coliseum will be filled with happy gorging bleacher bums this summer as the soon to be Fremont A’s offer up their take on the latest “innovative marketing” idea to hit MLB.

Hey corndog fans, have you ever craved “All You Can Eat” seating sections ?

Apparently the LA Dodgers started this ploy off a couple years ago, and it’s all the rage, with Nascar & Hockey Teams now doing it as well. Be amongst the first in the Bay Area to enjoy this symptom of our societal sickness, and an obsequious toast to obesity…

I know previous dollar hot dog nights in Oakland have long been an insanely popular tribute to the Bay Area’s reputation for gustatory excellence & impeccable taste, and if they throw in those nasty Nachos & bottomless Mountain Dews… now yer talking.

If you’d be interested in trying this out in April and filling your belly with an endless feast of soda pop, ice cream, franks and other ballpark cuisine health hazards, I’ve got discounted ticket code info below.

To purchase discount All-You-Can-Eat seats: visit www.oaklandathletics.com and select one of the below listed games, and enter the coupon code: EATS

This will get you in for just $20 each (instead of the usual $35) to enjoy your privileged feasting section at the following select games in April…

Saturday, April 5 vs. Cleveland @ 1:05PM
Friday, April 18 vs. Kansas City @ 7:05PM
Tuesday, April 22 vs. Minnesota @ 7:05PM

Order the tickets online, then get on Bart & get yer butt down to 7000 Coliseum Way in Oakland…