St. Francis is home to one of the best burn units in the nation. I know this because my friend and movie stuntman Kane Hodder (”Jason” from FRIDAY THE 13th) recuperated there after nearly dying in an accident on a movie set which burned him over 80% of his body many years ago.

You can read more about FREE TRANSIT MONDAY at SFGATE

I woke up at oh-my-god-thirty today, and wandered down to the 1906 Memorial Service at Lotta’s Fountain. The reason they hold it at Lotta’s Fountain is because this is where lots of people posted notices for loved ones, in addition to being the only source of water still working in the Financial District.

Every year, they crank the fountain up for one day. I am not sure if it’s still turned on today, but I took the chance to take a picture of the only day of the year you’ll see water still coming from this fountain.

There was only one survivor there this year, the 104 year old guy that works at Andronico’s in the Sunset. Out of the past three years I’ve been going to this, there has always been a rather hilarious elderly lady who invariably flirts with Gavin Newsom — enough to make him blush. This year we were all sad to hear that she had died in December. She was a hoot.

There were only about 150 people there this year at best. As opposed to last year, with 10,000 people. We got to meet the Chief of Police and the Mayor, and got to talk to them for a while too. Gavin intoduced us to Jennifer too.

The Mayor told me I had to remind you all that an earthquake is coming! Go to http://www.72hours.org and get prepared!

The residents of the area did seem to take a rather hysterical view of the situation. I find it rather ironic that the local residents are more concerned about porn than the junkies that litter that neighborhood. As far as the neighborhood goes, if they are that concerned about the sex trade in their hood then they should take a gander at what happens less than three blocks away at the Power Exchange. There were a few things that I agreed with — one man (who needed public speaking lessons) seemed rather outraged that a BDSM studio would locate next door to a battered women’s shelter (good point) while at least one other resident totally negated the viewpoint of the residents with their hyperbolic statements — this even made one other resident change their mind DURING the meeting to support kink.com.

The one thing that bugs me, and always has bugged me, about things like this is exactly how loud money talks. The cold truth is that the company had more than enough money to sew everything up so that this meeting was nothing more than a formality and the residents really have no say. As far as how I feel about this personally, I do have to say that coming from modest beginnings in Georgia makes me wonder how far along I’d be if I had a family with enough money to send me to Cambridge and Columbia University rather than having to work through college myself. I do have a lot of problems with envy and jealousy, I’ll totally admit that — but I also have this chip on my shoulder about how I never had to use my parents money to get where I am or where I am going, and the entire situation just hammers home to me that it’s always good to be the guy who steamrollers through obstacles with a wheelbarrow full of money.

Laura Dern in INLAND EMPIRE

Opening night starts with Laura Dern starring in the latest offering from film artiste David Lynch called INLAND EMPIRE. As usual, the festival includes a good smattering from my favorite genre (horror!) with offerings like NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH and S&MAN. There will be plenty of fare for the more artsy types out there, including an intriguing film called GREEN MIND, METAL BATS. I got to see this movie at a press junket last week, and as usual it was a film that made me realize there’s more out there than my self-made horror ghetto. It makes me happy that we have this festival in San Francisco, because without it very few of these films would have a chance to be seen by the general public.

Of course, there are some films that will go on to notoriety and you’ll get bragging rights on those films to all your friends as well. In the past Indiefest has been responsible for premiering films like BUBBA HO TEP. The closing film this year is FIDO, a wonderful post apocalyptic tale set in the 50’s featuring zombies as housepets and starring Carrie Ann Moss (THE MATRIX). I’m pretty sure everyone will be hearing about some of these films, and if you attend you can tell them that you saw it first at the SF Indiefest.

San Francisco Indiefest
http://www.sfindie.com
February 8th-20th
Benefit at the Rickshaw Stop, 155 Fell, 8pm on January 27th.

The very first Dr. Sketchy’s was in New York City. It’s now a great big affair, with reservations required and all sorts of nonsense that comes with being extremely popular. Founder Molly Crabapple probably didn’t know what she was getting into when she started this thing, but it seems to have led to even more interesting projects in connection — one of the publications that came out of this little gathering was the Dr. Sketchy’s Official Rainy Day Colouring Book. Evidently Dr. Sketchy is Canadian, but I always found that affectation of using U in words like colour or flavour to be rather endearing in a Queen’s English kind of way.

They must be onto something, because the press is saying things like this:
“Dr. Sketchy’s will cure you of every boring art class you’ve ever been to.”
- The Sunday Age, Melbourne

Thomas Roche is the mad genius behind the Dr. Sketchy’s Barbary Coast. I’ve been aware of the effort to organize a San Francisco party for some time now, but it only seems natural that Thomas should be involved. As editor of local web-rag Eros Zine, Thomas gets to hang around his Jack London Square office watching porn and talking to porn stars all day. Does he seem like the right guy to help organize this to you? That’s what I thought too.

The Barbary Coast version of Dr. Sketchy’s is coming to us on February 28th at the Stud. Sundays are made for early drinking, so this will start at 4pm and go until 7pm. Modeling for our pleasure will be local dancer Bombshell Betty, a well known brazen hussy here in San Francisco. She’s responsible for Burlesquercise, and the website copy reads “Not only will Betty be posing for your figure-drawing delectation — she will perform a burlesque number that will knock your socks to the rafters, Bub.”

Make your plans now to check out Dr. Sketchy’s Barbary Coast. Included is the infamous Dr. Sketchy’s Barbary Coast Illustration Contest, billed by the website as ” the only figure drawing contest in San Francisco where the winner gets porn”. Eros Zine is sponsoring this event along with Comstock Films, so you can be sure that the prizes will be in their catalog.

What: Dr. Sketchy’s Anti-Art School, Barbary Coast Division
When: Sunday, January 28, 2007, 4-7pm
Where: The Stud, 399 – 9th Street @ Harrison, San Francisco
Who: Bombshell Betty modeling. Hosted by Thomas S. Roche and Ponygirl.
With prizes from Eros Zine and Comstock Films!

I’ve been emailing back and forth with him all morning, trying to convince him that he needs to have a department in the building directory called SETEC ASTRONOMY. I think he’s going to do it.

This is pretty big news for San Francisco. It will bring jobs from the movie industry here, as well as jobs it will take to renovate this historic building. The $14.5 million sale price is a steal for a place on the National Historic Register, and more companies in this town should take the social responsibility to preserve our historic buildings. I look forward to seeing what Armory Films can bring to town.

On January 8th, 1880 Joshua Norton I, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico, fell down with a coronary at the corner of California and Grant (then Dupont) Street in San Francisco. While the hill of California Street is probably responsible for a lot of heart attacks, this heart attack is notable in that it killed the former rice merchant, ending his 21 year reign. Emperor Joshua Norton I is responsible for many of the things we take for granted about living in San Francisco, from the idea of a bridge to Oakland to the way that the word “Frisco” grates on your nerves. He died before he hit the pavement.

His funeral a few days later was also notable for many reasons. It was paid for entirely by the Freemasons, the train of people following his casket to Lone Mountain Cemetary was close to half a mile long, and it was darkened by a solar eclipse. Do we really need any more proof that he was the Emperor?

Do something in honor of the Emperor tonight! We’ll be at Norton’s Vault starting at 4pm.

I just got finished interviewing Crispin Glover. I know this doesn’t mean much coming from me, but I found him to be the most lucid, sane and focused celebrity I have ever had the chance to talk to. I didn’t include everything in this interview because we talked for a long time and I am pretty sure that some Chronicle reporter is pissed at me for sucking up Mr. Glover’s time — but to hell with them, let’s get on with the interview.

Darren Mckeeman: How did you come to work with Adam Parfrey?

Crispin Glover: Adam and I met when he asked me for a piece for his book tortures and torments of the Christian Martyrs. We became great friends and he had a large role in the production of WHAT IS IT?

DM: You have a lot of disabled people in this movie. Were there any concessions that you had to make to their disabilities in your direction?

CG: No, there wasn’t. The major thing about acting, with any actor, is that they be enthusiastic about the project. All of the actors working on this project were very enthusiastic, and they were very easy to work with as a result. I’m glad I got to make this movie – I actually was working on it when I got the call for CHARLIE’S ANGELS. Originally they gave me lines, but after I read the script I didn’t like what they gave me to say, so I kind of asked if the character could be this fighting guy who never spoke and the director, who was very enthusiastic, jumped up and down and said “YES! YES!” So, that nailed down that part for me, and when all was said and done I took my earnings from CHARLIE’S ANGELS and put it into this film, which was money well spent.

DM: I understand that WHAT IS IT? is going to be part of a trilogy. Can you tell me anything about these movies?

CG: Yes, we’re currently on tour for WHAT IS IT? We have a traveling show where I give an hour long presentation with slides, a slideshow of my book. Then we do the movie, which is about 90 minutes, and then we do the Q&A and autograph session, which takes the longest. WHAT IS IT? Is the first film of a trilogy, I have part of the second film shot. On the second film, I took a screenplay by Stephen C. Stewart about his experiences. Stephen was 63 years old and had cerebral palsy, and he had this experience where he was trapped in a hospital and labeled as mentally retarded, when that’s not the case (with victims of cerebral palsy). The whole screenplay is about that, and it’s got some sexual themes in it too – Stephen had a hair fetish. We came to shoot the movie because as things dragged on, Stephen suffered a collapsed lung and it became obvious that if we didn’t start shooting that it would never get done. So, we shot a bunch of it and he died about a month later. That movie is called EVERYTHING IS FINE. The last movie is going to be called IT IS MINE. WHAT IS IT? Was originally going to be a short film that highlighted working with people with Down’s Syndrome to the corporate folks – as I pitched this project, it became obvious that they were wary of the taboos… taboos, is that the right way to say it? Taboos and/or preconceived notions of working with people with Down’s Syndrome, that’s what they were scared of. Now it’s a feature length film. There are a few films in my life that I look back with fondness on, and WHAT IS IT? Is definitely one of them.

DM: I’m curious about working on Beowulf–if the filming was any different than your “average” film since they’re doing the performance capture style animation, and how he liked playing Grendel.

CG: That was great. There are a lot of great actors involved with that project, and Robert Zemeckis too. I never thought I’d work with Robert Zemeckis again after BACK TO THE FUTURE – you know I sued them over the use of my image. They took an actor, gave him face and chin prosthetics and interspersed footage of me with him to try to fool people into thinking I was in the movie. The suit I filed is a legal precedent in Hollywood, and when all that went down I never thought I’d work with him again. It’s turned out to be a pleasant surprise. Working on a green screen with the motion capture is quite different from regular moviemaking – they have about 246 cameras aimed at you at once, and they kind of morph or blend in the best shots, and it’s like everyone has a close up in every scene. I think it’s a neat way to do it.

DM: Neil Gaiman has nothing but good things to say about your performance.

CG: Oh wow, yeah, Neil’s a great guy. I worked with him and this professor of Old English on my part – you know, Grendel doesn’t speak anything but Old English. That was definitely a learning experience.

DM: How’d you get hooked up with Trent Harris (director of THE ORKLY KID and RUBIN AND ED)?

CG: Let’s see… I went to school at the AFI, and Trent was there too. He did the original film of THE ORKLY KID as a first year project, except it was called THE BEAVER KID and he had Sean Penn in the lead role. At AFI, they have you do your first year project over as your second year project, and he had to reshoot it as THE ORKLY KID. At this point, Sean’s career had taken off and he brought me on to star in it, and we’ve been collaborating on and off ever since.

DM: Finally, how do you like San Francisco?

CG: I love San Francisco, I wish I could spend more time here. I am touring for this film series and the only way that I can figure out where I am sometimes is to read the website (Darren’s note: http://www.crispinglover.com) but I always know when I’m in San Francisco. If you’re going to be down at the theatre tonight or tomorrow night, come on up and say hi!

See CRISPIN GLOVER tonight at the CASTRO THEATRE in San Francisco, as well as tomorrow night and Sunday. He’ll be signing his book, doing a slideshow based on his book, and presenting a cornucopia of his movies for you including his new film WHAT IS IT? This show is a must-see!

RUBIN AND ED tells the story of a retro-seventies oddball who is trying to find a place to bury his cat (while coping with his death) in the desert with Howard Hesseman (Dr. Johnnie Fever from WKRP IN CINNCINATI) as an unsuccessful pyramid scheme salesman being dragged around on Crispin’s bell-bottomed vision quest. It’s about as weird as Crispin Glover on acid can get, along with the best explanation of Andy Warhol’s career as I’ve ever heard.

Go see this at the Castro later this month. I just want to warn you all early about this — there aren’t many chances to see a 35mm print of the embodiment of independant film on the Castro’s screen with George McFly introducing it.

Actually, this is in conjunction with Crispin’s newest film, ‘WHAT IS IT?’. I’ll let you research this one yourself, I don’t want to start a flame war here.

Find out more about Crispin Glover at the Castro by clicking here

What’s the big news story in San Francisco?

Evidently, Mayor Gavin Newsom has stopped using his trademark hair gel.

This may not seem very newsworthy to anyone who doesn’t live in San Francisco, but we take Gavin’s hair very seriously here. I’ve made comments about the mayor’s hair on my own blog constantly ever since he came into office. I personally applaud his new look, but some people have commented that he’s looking a bit too much like Matt Gonzalez with the new do. If it’s true that image is everything in politics, this might very well be a death knell for the Gavster’s career!

I tried to find other stories about image and City Hall, but so far the only person who can come close to Senor Newsom in style is Willie Brown. Gavin’s dapper predecessor is infamous for his fedoras, which had some people confusing the post of mayor with that of homicide detective — the fedora is a favorite among police detectives here as well. Of course, Gavin and Willie also are infamous for showing up with extremely hot dating material to society functions as well, so maybe Gavin is taking a few tips from hizzonner Brown. This all begs the question — did Willie advise Gavin to nix the hair gel? Inquiring minds want to know!

Actually, this is all probably just an excuse to focus on something in politics other than cybersex with congressional pages.