Wired magazine has a hilarious and fascinating piece on training for space tourists, those wealthy former businessmen who cashed out companies and thus have $30 million to blow on a year in training and a week in space on the shuttle. (One of the men profiled in the piece — and they’re always men — refers to himself using the ghastly neologism “thrillionaire.”) As a Russian press liaison says about the attitude toward these dilletantes: “People say it is better to send monkey.”

Then there’s the old-fashioned way: earn it. Not the money, but the job. Meet Megan McArthur, Ph.D. (pictured at right), who went to high school in Mountain View and whose parents live in San Jose. McArthur will be blasting off in October to operate the Big Robot Arm — I’m sure it has a less colorful NASA-like acronym — on a mission to refurbish the Hubble Space Telescope.

I washed my dog this morning, clipped his nails and got out the door to go see the vet for his regular check-up. Because I did not have any cash on me, I walked a little further to get coffee, to a place that takes cards.

I go in this place frequently enough. Though the “law” says dogs cannot go into food establishments, both of my closest coffee shops allow them. When I bring the pup in there, I carry him in my hoodie, just to be respectful of others.

Today, I go in and order a mocha and bagel to go. I have my dog on my shoulder.

I’m waiting for my food, when I get the feeling that someone is staring at me. I look around and my eyes land on one of the most foul specimens of human waste I’ve ever seen. Literally, this man is the human version of “Jabba the Hut”. He is a desending pile of tires of fat, rings of flesh telescoping towards the ground. He is shaped like a fleshy soft-serve, ice cream cone. His skin is yellow from jaundice and his eyes are bright red in the lids and whites, showing “Pink Eye” at the very least.

This foul man-pile yells at me from his stench-seat, “The dog goes outside”. I reply, “Are you the owner? I’m not leaving him outside.” I go back to waiting… “It’s the law” says flesh-sore-man, “Are you above the law? I’ll call the Board of Health.”

I grab my stuff to go and say to him loudly, so the whole cafe gets the message, “When you call the Board of Health, tell them you have a full-blown case of the infection known as “Pink Eye”, and that everything you have touched, including that stainless steel spoon someone else will later use, is infected.” I continue, “Tell them the money you gave the cashier, has now been handled by the same people handling the customer’s food. Tell them you have now exposed your infection to everyone in the cafe. Maybe you should think about THAT next time you worry about health codes…”

Do I need to take my 4th Anger Management class? YES.

Is it ridiculous that in San Francisco, an 8 pound, freshly-bathed dog is a health hazard, when in EVERY corner of this city, the average San Franciscan comes upon human fecal matter on every train, door handle, cafe, bathroom they use because this city is swarming with filthy, homeless crackheads?

YES, more than I need Anger Management, YES.

I pick my dog’s crap up, no matter where it lands. EVERY DAY when I walk to work, I dodge SEVERAL piles of human waste. The people who made those piles can go into any establishment they like. But I can’t bring my 8 pound, clean dog on my shoulder to get a coffee to go without having some ridiculous law spouted at me from Jabba the Jaundiced?

The LAW must GO!

My wee one and I attended the monthly gathering of the “San Francisco Chihuahua Meetup” on Sunday, June 1st. The meeting takes place regularly on the first Sunday of the month, at Stern Grove. (A change in day is tentative for the next two months while the Stern Grove Festival runs on Sundays)

This was my first visit to the function and I made an entertaining error in parking and location. I have only been to Stern Grove once and did not realize the size of the place!

I parked my Zipcar at the front entrance, grabbed paws and started the descent into the park. At once, I realized, cars can indeed drive down into Stern Grove. Oops! Oh well, I thought, it’s a nice day for a walk. As the long hill wound down, I started thinking, “I may have to extend the car reservation!”

We walked through a little girl’s party, passed a large, old-fashioned house where a graduation party was happening… and then we entered the concert arena. By this time, I’m feeling a little “Alice in Wonderland.”

Two women were in the concert area with their small dogs. We stopped and talked to them, and they pointed us further down the path to where the rest of the small dogs were having their party.

Out of the concert area, I chuckled to myself EVEN MORE as I was greeted by an even LARGER parking lot I didn’t know about, closer to the event I just walked a mile to get to… oh well, nice day for a walk.

We were finally there! And there were just dozens of chihuahuas everywhere, as well as dogs big, medium and small. Winks and I met Bobby, a fluffy mop dog, and a woman who was nice enough to drive us back to the car I had parked miles away. Winks sniffed some butts, got a new shirt and we got the car back to it’s spot in the Castro with 2 minutes to spare!

It was a good day!

Calling all tiny dogs!

Tomorrow, Sunday, June 1st, at Stern Grove in San Francisco, from 12pm to 2pm, you will be able to sniff butts your own size a plenty!

A group of chihuahua-lovers on Meetup.com are holding a gathering of chihuahua’s, mixes and their cousins for all to enjoy.

A new post tomorrow will contain pictures of my own tiny companion enjoying the festivities.

Here are some helpful links:

San Francisco Chihuahua Meetup on Craigslist

Directions to Stern Grove

The second installment of Rapid Restaurant Reviews takes us to the North Country, all the way up in Healdsburg in the Russian River Valley.

Cyrus sits mere steps from Healdsburg Square which itself is mere minutes from dozens of wineries and tasting rooms. And what better way to end a long afternoon of tasting (and spitting, of course) wine than to sit down with an eight-course tasting menu with accompanying wine flight?

To the questions, then…

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Anyone who lives in the city knows it can be difficult to find a pet-friendly apartment. My landlord ok’d my dog, since he is “smaller than a cat”. Personally, as a lover of animals, I think landlords should be more lenient. However, a neighbor of mine is probably a good example of “pushing it to the limits”.

It’s hard to take a picture in the sunlight, but on a nice day with the shades are open, you can see a few of my neighbor’s feathered friends. (A few of the flock pictured below) I’ve counted up to about 21 medium-sized, tropical birds with free reign of the front room.

I can’t see too far into the apartment because it’s on the second floor; but in my mind, the rest of the room is decorated with hanging vines and leaves. Maybe a jungle sound effects CD is playing in the background? The windows are definitely decorated… with something else.

Speaking of birds… more pics after the jump

I was pretty excited by Eater SF’s ongoing commentary about the bright new future of Ghirardelli Square. Needless to say, the purported wi-fi here wasn’t very strong at all. And I was standing right in front of the sign.

I walked around it with my Mom, who remembers it “back in the day,” which could either be the 50s when her girlfriend Martha lived on Nob Hill, and she would take the cable car here to visit my mom and listen to beatniks play the guitar- that was a vivid memory- but otherwise, she kept saying it was “pretty much the same.” So what does rejuvenation mean?

As a neighbor, I’ve only been here a handful of times. The shops don’t appeal, but then again, I noticed Lola of North Beach, the best stationer’s store I’ve ever been to, now has a branch in the Square. Also, found Waterfront Bakery, my new favorite European cafe (note: technically Cannery not Ghirardelli). If there’s any discernible reason for the Russian Hillers to come down and enjoy Ghirardelli Square, and not just for oversweet ice cream (they do have Swenson’s) a gourmet grocery is it. There’s Safeway and Trader Joe’s nearby, but nothing like Bi-Rite in the Mission or Whole Foods Deli. The spread of Danko-ism is something exciting, and I’ll be sure to report back here if anything else pops up that’s neat & noteworthy.

Cab driver says, as we crest Nob Hill, “Look at that,.” I peek over the seat and see ahead of us through the gap of apartment buildings on Russian Hill, tons of fog laying low where the Bay should be, and above it, a clear blue sky. He says, “It’s foggy enough to be summer.”

Oh, and the fog horns are already going- second day in a row.

SFPD is hiring & shuffling: Capt. Ehrlich heads to Tac Squad, Fong brings in new female “Community” Capt. Bennet , plus scroll for details for potential applicants and those that just want to know more about what the hell is it they actually do:

In a continual game that is SFPD’s version of musical chairs meets Stratego, respected local Capt. John Ehrlich, a 27 year vet, moves into the Special Operations’ “Tac Squad” and Northern Station’s former Community Policing Lieutenant, Theresa “Teri” Barrett becomes the Park station’s new captain. An ironic shift perhaps since Chief Heather Fong has been reluctant to give so-called “community policing” much headway. Ehrlich also seemed content like most others in the dept. to hopefully let the “community policing” issue fade away before officers ever were forced to move around outside their bulletproof squad cars like any of us ordinary citizens must do.

This personnel shuffle seems yet another shift in the department that on one hand is derided as being insular, ineffective, and wishy washy and then on the other hand is accused of being insular, insensitive & overly aggressive.

I mean how could one not put their faith in an organization that issues glowing reports on it’s own recruits like
“San Frasncisco Policec Academy to Gradtue 13 Lateral Officers” as seen in a press release link posted proudly on the SFPD website since September 21, 2007.

It’s never helped that the majority of SFPD officers don’t live in town, and for a long time many seemed to take gleeful pride in bullying those that do. Lately the embarrassing and stubborn refusal of the SFPD to get around to enacting basic community policing reforms has really strained community relations.

It’s simply ridiculous what we spend here per capita on policing, and the ultimately shoddy results we get for that $500 dollars a year per person. According to a recent editorial in the Chronicle SF spends $120 more per citizen than Chicago, and $180 more per citizen than Los Angeles does on police services. Yet from 1999 to 2005, unlike in those towns, arrests were down 35 percent, and homicides went up, up, up and not away. Especially troubling is the unsolved homicide rate, with less than 25% solved these days, a dramatic reduction since the 50% solved rate of the latter 1990’s under other leadership.

More ranting after the jump…

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12:25 pm — The Mercury News reports that 395,000 PG&E customers have lost power — and that’s just in the Bay Area. Statewide, more than 750,000 customers of the utility lost their power at some point.

Outside the cafe I’m working from, two dogs cower in the heavy rain; one of them is small enough to take refuge under a mailbox.

12:15 pm — Updates from KCBS on transit in SF — K, L, M lines still stopped at West Portal Station after a woman was struck by a train this morning; BART still stopped between 24th St. and Daly City.

According to KCBS, all power is out along the coast between Pacifica and Half Moon Bay, and much of San Rafael is flooded and/or closed. Hwy. 101 is closed both directions at the I-580 junction; traffic is backed up 10 or 20 miles in each direction, but surface streets in San Rafael are either gridlocked or flooded. Hwy 101 could be closed until 11 pm tonight. Finally, both directions of the Richmond Bridge are closed.
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