What do you get when you cross a blow up monkey, a litter box, and 42 bottles of wine?

I spotted this on the sidewalk. Seriously, WTF??

Oakland police think they have found the gang behind at least some of the rash of restaurant robberies that plagued the East Bay this summer.

Yesterday they arrested three people they say perpetrated three of the takeover-style heists, in which hoodie-wearing men enter restaurants at night, force employees and patrons into a back room, and clean out the cash register.

The Oakland residents were arrested Tuesday evening after they allegedly departed from their successful MO and knocked over a nail salon. Police were given a description of the getaway car, which they spotted, followed and stopped. Inside they found ski masks, guns and the money from the nail salon.

Among the arrestees was the getaway driver, a 20-year-old woman whom police said was the girlfriend of one of the bandits.

Contradicting Oakland Mayor Ron Dellums who said the string of robberies were a result of the poor economy, a police spokesman said “These aren’t guys who lost their jobs and got desperate… These are people who had access to guns and get off on the thrill of robbing people.” And the brother of one of the suspects commented:

He’s got no reason to be doing nothing like this. He’s not a drug addict, not in a bind, there’s no pressure situation. He was cool, man. He missed his calling: He should have been a basketball star. He’s an incredible basketball player. He don’t have no reason to be robbing no restaurants. That kind of (expletive) is serious and petty at the same time, you know?

So there you have it.

In case you couldn’t get to the Late Show screening of Big Man Japan last Friday (see my earlier post about it here), I just noticed that you can catch it today at the Clay Theater at 4:15 PM, and tomorrow at 5:15 at the Kabuki.

It’s one of the most hilarious movies I’ve seen in a long time: it simultaneously sends up giant-monster movies like Godzilla, superhero stories, profile documentaries, athletic endorsements, anime series, and even the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. “Future cult classic” is actually a spot-on description. It’s well worth seeing.

Here’s the festival page about it. Tickets for today’s show are available at the Clay; a limited number of rush tickets will be available just before tomorrow’s show, at the Kabuki. Get in line early for the best chance at getting in.

3 stories of note, 2 that are victims fighting back and one goes in the category of incredibly stupid criminals. From the Central Station, Captain Dudley’s email newsletter (I’m so lazy). Since it’s almost the end of Nanowrimo, give me a break! I have 5K words to write in 2 days, groan.

The stupid criminal first. Seems obvious that stealing a GPS system is not a good idea…

On 11/25/07 at 10:45 PM, on the 2200 block of North Point, Officers Matt
Sullivan and Jessie Ortiz were assigned to plain clothes duty for the
purpose of auto burglary abatement. The Officers responded to a report
of an auto burglary which had just occurred and spotted the three
suspects fleeing the area on bicycles. Two of the three suspects were
apprehended; one, after a foot chase which covered several blocks.
Property stolen in the burglary, including a GPS system, was recovered
and returned to the owner.

Read more

Spotted a few of these last night in the Mission: apparently Scientology’s “antichrist” figure Xenu has some gangsta-style supporters in our trendy hipster neighborhood. This one’s on an SF Weekly box, photo snapped and uploaded with my Ocean.

Spotted this flyer in Upper Haight an hour ago… (shot + uploaded with my Ocean.)

Anyone going? I might run down to see what it looks like; we’re already swamped here with news vans and helicopters :(

Update: I just ran out and took the image below, with a couple more of what it’s like right now, after the jump. Yes, it’s freezing outside. Thank you Jonathan, for lending me a camera.

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The results of the city’s recently commissioned study on litter is in. And they’ve flagged the most popular usual suspects. The cigarette butts are what personally annoy me the most. Most sidewalks (especially outside bars, clubs and restaurants) look like the aftermath of exploded nicotine piñatas. These are so absent-mindedly tossed onto the sidewalks by folks - who in the next smokily exhaled breath - will more than likely proclaim: “I never litter.” Uhm, ya just did. Thankfully, the often spotted downtown item at left is not among the top 12. [ick]

“The Dirty Dozen is the six most found items and six most found brands. In order of frequency, the top six items are gum, paper (receipts, napkins and newspapers), broken glass, plastic, candy wrappers, cigarette butts and empty cigarette packs. The top six brands are McDonalds, Muni transfers, Marlboro, Burger King, Starbucks, and, tied for sixth place, Safeway, FedEx, and Jack in the Box. Fast food restaurants account for the greatest amount of litter generated by the Dirty Dozen.”

Spotted at the Metreon today while I was leaving 5th and Mission, a lot of very intense security personnel at the Moscone Center for the sports event. This person cemented the feeling of homeland insecurity. He was gloved, and had a radio. Bomb squad was there, too.

Update 7/11: They’ll probably have guys like this in the clock tower of the ferry building now, on the lookout for suspicious briefcases that miss the boat to Vallejo: Bomb scare forces evacuation of SF’s ferry terminal. Good thing all those security teams were already there!