From the Craigslist Rants and Raves section, just today:

• A woman hates her ex because he poisoned San Francisco for her.
• A “fatal hipster” neglected his girlfriend at Whole Foods.
• “Mystery liquid on my floor this morning.”

Finally:

You humans are so weak, with your stupid rants. You think you so mighty! go fight a rhino or elephant! You all should leave this planet! Go to Saturn!