“The purpose of Golden Gate Park is to serve as an open space preserve in the midst of San Francisco. This historic park is a cultivated pastoral and sylvan landscape, defined by abundant evergreen woodland. It is designed and managed to afford opportunities for all to experience beauty, tranquility, recreation, and relief from urban pressures.”

That’s an excerpt of the “Golden Gate Park Master Plan, Resolution 9810-141” as denoted & sent to me by Mr. Chris Duderstadt, who is a concerned neighbor, citizen and member of the PROSF neighborhood group.

Duderstadt, has previously compiled historic photo collections of his San Francisco neighborhood to share at his website SFPIX long before Flickr appeared , and to his credit, Chris also keeps actively abreast of city & park policies. This week he seems a bit concerned about recent chainsaw gardening & plans afoot to destroy more of the park’s greenery for what seems to be an excercise in human futility.

The same Park & Rec honcho behind the recent clamp downs on beer & bands, has now announced his intention this past week to strip park borders of shrubs, foliage & other potential hiding places for ne’er do ‘ells & campers along park borders. Might sound great until you realize that it ain’t the bushes alone that cause our city park’s to teem with wascally wildlife of a distinctly damnable sort.

I’ll let Chris take it from here himself, since he’s more than capable of describing the situation:

On Tuesday (7/24) afternoon Yomi Agunbiade, Recreation and Parks Director, called the entire Golden Gate Park staff to a special meeting where he instructed all gardeners to suspend regular duties and to remove all of the greenery from the park bordering Fulton and Lincoln.

IF Mr. Agunbiade were to visit the park, or at least review the map posted in Chronicle, he would understand that destroying the “cultivated pastoral and sylvan landscape” will not solve the homeless issue. It will only punish all of us that use the park for “relief from urban pressures,” by bringing the city into the park.

At this recreationally vibed, delightful day in the parks pic taken while celebrating Agunbiade’s appointment, I couldn’t help but note the casual outdoor dress & “natural” type of foliage the Mayor & his “clappers” approve of…

I can hear the slick City Hall voicemail messages on Yomi’s phone now…

“You got three kids buddy, and looks like the mayor’s diggin’ yer wife, so ya wanna keep yer family, then ya better keep that mess ankle high at tops Yomi…or yer ass is grass…Don’t go soft on us buddy, or we’ll trim yer budget in that personal way if ya know what i mean?…Hack it back, cause we’re in the weeds, polls are mixed & we need to really hit one out of the park here pal…show ’em whose boss…yours in particular…”

More on the egregious augmentations by the dutiful Agunbiade admin to the Golden Gate Park Master Plan, as observed by Duderstadt after the jump…

According to Chris, Mr Agunbiade might want to consider that the transient problem is due to a myriad of factors , and simply killing plants isn’t going to eradicate them:

The homeless are not hiding in the bushes. Many sleep unhindered out in the middle of the park’s meadows. Every gardener can show you exactly where their personal encampments are located. They will also tell you the numerous calls they make to city police trying to deal with the most offensive only to be told there’s nothing they can do until someone get physically attacked.

In June of 2006 the Inner Sunset held a community meeting to address the homeless issues in our neighborhood and the Park. The Mayor’s office promised ‘homeless outreach’ to offer assistance and housing to our homeless population. WE’RE STILL WAITING.

Vagrancy, mental illness, and substance abuse are not going to be solved by chopping down the Park. Only when authorities get out of their cars, enforce the law, and confront ‘campers’ with real alternatives can we begin to deal with a city and nation wide issue.

Chris Duderstadt

Inner Sunset Neighbor

But, if anyone’s betting on SFPD to get out of those cozy cars and roust bums & thwart thieves, I’ve got a box of day old Krispy Kremes we can watch mold in the interim while those “community” policing schemes are inanely ignored & barely bandied about HQ…

Psst… you like glazed or powdered? or meth ?

See ya’ll in the bushes… or what’s left of em…

ProSF website

Duderstadt’s SFpix website

contact info for Rec & Park Dept

Mayor Newsom’s San Francisco parks manager, (415) 831-2700;

yomi.agunbiade@sfgov.org