Golden Gate Bridge Vanishes… Tourist Reaction Mixed
In a sign that city hall has not forgotten that it’s the city that knows how…the mayor’s office has announced continuation of it’s unique joint venture pact with the Golden Gate Bridge District to continue the ever popular disappearing bridge magic show routine through the rest of the summer.
Tourists are indeed often amazed to find that after they’ve traveled thousands of miles to get here, and left the sunny Union Square or Wharf areas and made the trek up Doyle Drive, there’s no “there” there. The bridge daily holds it’s fans in awe as it vanishes mysteriously.
The Mayor’s office was quick to take credit for the “Phenomenon”. To almost no surprise Chris Daly showed up & took control of the the mic to completely disagree and call the mayor a “dick”. Daly then took credit for whatever it was people liked about the “Phenomenon”, and mentioned that he had actually probably suggested it first.
According to some insiders that only Matier & Ross know the identity of, the magic wall of “Advection fog” is formed by the mingling of humid air & chilly sea currents which has been until recently provided free of charge to taxpayers. Jake McGoldrick has suggested revenues collected in the future from users of the “Phenomenon” could create much needed “Healthy” bike paths that would dart wildly and creatively across the heavy traffic at the tollbooth. Supervisor Alioto-Pier was absent and could not comment.
More Fantastic Rambling Notes On This Phenomenon After “the Jump”…
Before Daly’s blustery arrival, The Gavster was surrounded at the press conference by freshly minted signage, smiling handlers and duplicitous donors as he proudly went on & on in a long winded stump speech that makes this blog post seem short by comparison. He proclaimed that “this traditional San Francisco summertime display of the awesome powers of illusion is as cherished by tourists as The Bushman, Gay Cruising In Parks, Funny Panhandler Signs, and Finding Parking.”
This disappearing bridge show has not been without it’s critics though, and particularly upset by this daily disappearing act are those contemplating suicide. A well organized contingent known as S.L.I.P ( Suicidal Leapers In Protest) have slammed the city’s new 311 line dispatchers with complaints. Meanwhile the overflow of calls has kept people from finding out about other important city services such as classes on “how to be a “Green” absentee Supervisor” or “Mayoral Protocal: More Than Just Being Liquored Up & Lacquered Down“.
Local Non Profit CBO’s have suggested angry suicidal folks carefully schedule their activities around the bridge’s disappearances or find some other more dramatic and convenient methods to off themselves during the summer months. This answer did not sit well with the manic depressive constituency who’ve now filed a massive anti discrimination class action suit against the city and the bridge district.
Be Sure to head up daily along Doyle Drive to the famed bridge for this popular magic attraction that outdoes any cheesy David Copperfield show…
And do it soon, as you never know when the bridge’s own regal board of appointees may want to raise admission fees for this exciting outdoor show…and that in city hall for that matter.