In the weekly blotter from Captain Dudley, Central District, he cites three common frauds that were run this week:

Guy packing a FedEx box full of catalogs, sometimes a loose wire creeping out of the top, and calling it a “cut rate laptop computer.”

Cantonese speaker selling a beetle that “cures cancer.” Artful moves involves running beetle across mark, then dropping into water where it turns black.

Fake valets. A friend from Seattle turned me onto this one- guys (they have a specific description of this particular guy) who stand with a shiny jacket and a clipboard in a free parking lot, taking money. Kind of brilliant in its simplicity. Quoted bits from the report after the jump.

Recently one afternoon on the way to a meeting with Lieutenants Jim
Calonico and Alvin Yee of the Day Watch, we observed suspicious activity at
Post and Kearny. A Black male in his 50’s was placing catalogs in a
Federal Express Delivery box to give it the heft of a computer. We sat and
watched as he took a newspaper ad for laptop computers and sealed them in
plastic across the shipping label. We broke up the scam before he could
pawn the box off as a ‘cut rate laptop computer.’ A month ago a suspect
was caught selling a similarly wrapped box. He went even further by
wrapping up some wires he found in a dumpster to the box as if it were some
component part. UPS and the Fed Ex boxes are free and available at store
counters. Beware of this scam.

On 4/10/07 at 9 AM a 73 year old Asian female was walking at Stockton and
Vallejo when she was approached by a 40-50 year old Cantonese speaking
Asian woman who showed her “healing beetles.” The scam artist ran a beetle
over the woman’s hand and put it into a container of water that turned
black. The scammer explained that it showed the victim that she had
‘cancer.’ 2 Asian males drove up in a 4 door grey sedan and the suspect
told the woman that if she withdrew money from her bank, she could be saved
from the cancer. The victim withdrew money and gave it to the suspects
thinking it would help cure her.

On a follow up to the scam parking lot ‘valet’ who stands at pay and park
Embarcadero Parking lots: Officer Kim Koltzoff obtained court issued Stay
Away orders on the Black male 45 years 6′ -160 pounds, and bald from lots
located at the foot of Bay, Kearny and Piers 23 and 27.

”

I love bakery stories. Here’s a report of a guy who steals Chinatown bakeries AND bites thumbs:

On 4/15/07 at noon on the 1000 block of Stockton, Officers Jonathan Tong
and Darryl Fong responded on a call of an assault at a bakery. Officers
learned that a 45 year old Asian male had been pilfering items from the
bakery without paying several times over a period of time. Once confronted
by the owner, the suspect assaulted him. Once the officers attempted to
detain the suspect, they too were assaulted. The suspect managed to kick
Officer Severo Flores in the upper thigh and bit Officer Fong on the thumb,
drawing blood.