From the desk of Captain Dudley, Central District (downtown, North Beach, Russian Hill, Fisherman’s Wharf):

On 3/2/07 at 1:15 PM a woman was approached on the 900 block of Mason by a 63 year old White male 6′ 165 wearing a dark blue suit and carrying a briefcase. The man gave an elaborate explanation requiring assistance because of failing eyesight. The woman helped out by transcribing small print onto a piece of paper when she heard her skirt move. She turned to find the man on his hands and knees, looking up her skirt. She attempted to slap and run from the man but could not as he pinned her by her arms. Security responded and held the man for police. The suspect was found to be a registered Sex Offender from Washington State and was booked on False imprisonment and as a Sex Offender failing to register.

Such an elaborate plan. You’d think mirrors on shoes would be far easier.

Also on 3/3/07 at 10:15 PM, Officers Martin Garay and Joe Porta were on patrol at Bush and Clay when they observed a Black male adult jumping on the hood of a parked vehicle. A bystander said he observed the same suspect do similar damage to other parked vehicles in the area. The homeless individual gave no explanation for his behavior. He was booked for felony.