Archive for September, 2006

Evil Aliens

Listen up — if you are a horror movie fan, I am about to give you the hottest tip on a movie you will ever know. I have known about it for a few weeks, but I made some bad assumptions, such as assuming it would play for more than one showing. If you liked Peter Jackson’s DEAD ALIVE, or adored the EVIL DEAD movies, or secretly wish Whitley Streiber would take it up the ass with a giant spinning multi bladed anal probe, then you absolutely need to go down to the Metreon and see Jake West’s EVIL ALIENS for the one showing it will have. They are showing it in FREAKING IMAX, which staggers me to think that I can watch that much gore on a 3 story screen.

I first encountered this movie via Bruce Fletcher of the San Francisco Indiefest. If you want to find gems, this film festival can produce them like no other. Bruce is a huge fan of schlocky films, as is evidenced by his choice of Sean Connery in ZARDOZ for the Saturday matinee of Another Hole in the Head, another SF Indie festival production that recently played at the landmark Roxie Theatre on 16th Street.

EVIL ALIENS is the second film of English director Jake West, who also directed RAZORBLADE SMILE. It stars an all star (at least in England) cast which includes Norman Lovett, also known to true geeks as the floating disembodied head of Holly the Computer in RED DWARF. The movie is basically a campy mixture of the squickiest bits of alien folklore, ley line superstition, and a British sense of humor via the FORTEAN TIMES.

I saw it here in San Francisco at the film festival. I have followed the website at since the moment I got home from that first festival. I liked it so much I pirated it the instant I could. I managed to procure a copy of the DVD by pre-ordering theough Amazon.Com.UK a few days ago, and I will be at the IMAX Showing tonight. Or maybe tomorrow night? At any rate, you should disregard the Comic Book Guy’s review of this movie on that Amazon site — the movie is so freakin’ awesome that I’m about to pee my pants just thinking about it. If you are not in San Francisco but still want to see it, go to the official website and see if it’s playing tonight in your town. It’s opening in more places in future weekends, so check on that as well.

Of course, if you don’t like horror movies, carry on with your decidedly blood-free existance and have a nice life.

SoMA Literary Review

Every neighborhood in San Francisco has something great to offer. I live in North Beach, and I spent large chunks of time in The Haight, The Castro, The Mission and Chinatown, but one of my favorite neighborhoods is the SoMA. I’ve had friends who lived there in the past and their complaints about the neighborhood have justification – it is filled with risky behavior and signs of dilapidation. But there is also a wide range of cultural creativity happening in the SoMA, and I guess I’ve always been someone who liked to travel on the fringes of the society so that type of environment suits me well.

One of my favorite online spots for getting SoMA information which reflects that creativity is the SoMA Literary Review which offers all sorts of different literary looks at life throughout San Francisco, with a focus on the lives of people working and playing in the SoMA. Many different types of people contribute their voices here and it is an excellent place to go for writing inspiration, networking with other creative types and simply seeing what else is being produced in this city around us.

Haute Haute Burlesque Cancelled!

Here is what the Bay Guardian says about Haute Haute Burlesque (in the “Picks” sidebar):

“Admit it it’s been way too long since you’ve seen a good burlesque show. The best way to rectify this situation is to check out the Haute House Burlesque Review. Picture a mashup of ’50s style, extravagant song and dance productions, and strippers. Haute House stars Bombshell Betty, Lily le Rogue, Miss Banana Peel, Coconut Cream, Mynx d’Meanor, Sweet Cheeks, Ophelia Coeur de Noir, and Isis Stars. The house band for the evening is Lucifer’s Old Timey Strip Club Band and complimentary champagne is served at intermission. Formal attire and fancy dress are encouraged.”

I’ve been to a half-dozen or more of Bombshell Betty‘s burlesque shows. They are always a good time, with nice drinks, great music and hot dancing nearly-naked tattooed girls spitting fire or dressed like robots. I have a friend that dances in the Debut Taunts she and clued me in that the event tonight has been cancelled at the last minute by the venue owner, despite the fact that their contract has a “no cancellation” clause. The Jon Sims Center, the venue, is making brand new last-minute demands. This is especially jerky considering that Bombshell Betty held a fundraiser for Sims recently.

Word is they may have an alternate “Boycott the Sims!” show on the sidewalk outside the venue (like they once did at the Lexington Club when it became too crowded for their show) so don’t lose hope. Tonight at 8:00 p.m.
Jon Sims Center for the Arts @ 1519 Mission, SF.

(I know it’s a shame to run this without pics, but I’m behind a firewall here and everything is coming up NSFW.)

UPDATE: The show is back on after a confrontation with the board of directors!

Friday Nite: Nun Goes Buddhist, Alejandro Escovedo Rises Like A Phoenix

On Friday September 29th , former San Franciscan Alejandro Escovedo joins his old pal Chuck Prophet in a special appearance at 12 Galaxies. I’d say it would be worth the trip down Mission St, as the pairing will no doubt produce the potential for some guesting on each others sets.

Both musicians are well known for being semi-unknown, despite having decade plus solo careers, and prior to that having been involved with seminal bands in the 1980’s that influenced the modern No Depression alt-contry scene. Prophet, a guitar player in the influential road dogging rapscallion outfit Green On Red, while Escovedo blazed trails with cowpunkers Rank & File and also the True Believers.

Escovedo, actually the uncle to Prince sidekick Sheila E, never had her hit records, and has lived a long, less “Glamourous Life” than her. Clean of the booze & drugs that weighed him down as a younger man, and rising like a Phoenix to reclaim his place as one America’s finest and mot respected Latino musicians, he seems primed for the run. His storied and at times sordid career are recounted briefly below. Read on for an overview, hear an interview, and to download some sample music tracks from some of his many recent releases…

The Moped Army invades San Francisco: photo follow-up

(Note: this is a brief follow up to my previous post.)

The Moped Army on the move on the Wharf.

The Creatures of the Loin, SF’s native chapter of the Moped Army, posing near Crissy Field.

Pictures used with the permission of my friend, and source for all news Moped-flavored, RustyBret. Read his account of the rally and see more pictures here.

Bloomie’s Opens Tomorrow!

I know you’re all excited, but did anyone see and/or attend the red carpet affair at the Emporium tonight? I was SO jealous as I rode by on the 21 Hayes.

Thanks to TristanT we have this shot from inside the sanctum sanctorum of Bloomingdale’s:

LA Times

Does that SF come with whipped cream?

A few scale models of cities (including SF) have popped up on the Internet of late. However, this one has them all beat. I’d really like to know where this lives and how long it stayed intact before someone took a big bite out of the Transamerica building. Have a look at San Francisco in JELL-O…Elizabeth, you are an artistic and culinary genius…

Crowded Muni Anecdote

I am always amused by the looks on the faces of morning riders of the N, from Carl & Cole on in to Van Ness as the cars approach capacity. The doors open and there is a hesitant moment of calculation: how has that diet been working out? How long can I hold my breath? Is this the day I finally succumb to a claustrophobic freakout? This morning, with my face pressed against the glass and a small child wedged between my backpack and the adult next to me, I could observe people waiting at the Duboce park stop, anticipating boarding the incoming train with pained expressions, as if they had just swallowed a large flying insect, or stepped in something squishy and unsanitary.

In a strange way, that made me want to laugh, though in doing so I likely would have injured myself, as someone’s knee was already crushing my ribs.

Whole Paycheck Sign

Saw this on the register as I checked out. I miraculously only spent 35$, but, as the cashier pointed out, that was entirely on produce. OK, and one box of cookies.

This healthy snack seems kinda steep, doesn’t it? Heart’s in the right place, but it is Whole Paycheck, after all.

Cereal Bar
Cup of applesauce
Quack n Bites ( don’t know what this is, let’s substitute Peppridge Farm Goldfish)

4$??? Any of these foods bought in large packages could be divided and cost, oh, a dollar maybe.

Love for the Crazies

I was actually planning to write about something else, but after reading the “Random Kiss on the Head” post (, I was reminded of a number of experiences I’ve had here when a random person on the street intruded in to my daily life in ways both good and bad.

Specifically, I was reminded of a time when I was riding the bus home late at night. There were only two other people on the bus, and when I was about four stops away from home, a third guy got on the bus. He was on his cell phone, so when he said, “Hello Beautiful”, I assumed it was to his phone mate. I looked out the window. He sat down in the seat in front of me, turned to me, hung up his phone and said, “I said HELLO BEAUTIFUL!”

I should interject here that how I handle strangers approaching me depends greatly on my mood. There are times when I’m open to chance conversations and times when I am abruptly rude in avoidance of them. There are times when the person frightens me and I give them the “don’t mess with me look” and times when I am entertained and give them the bemused glance. In this case, I wasn’t frightened, and I was in a good mood, so I glanced back at him to assess the situation.

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