Man Jose and the dating culture

dating culture?A commenter on my last post said “San Jose is terrible if you’re single… For some reason SF has a dating culture next to which SJ can’t compare.” A dating culture, huh? I have never thought about it that way.

What makes a good dating culture? Good places to mingle? High concentation of interesting people? A male:female ratio that works in your favor?

As a nerdy girl who likes the geeky guys, I can’t really complain about San Jose. Of course, I am certainly not meeting these geeky guys at bars downtown or at The Brit. I meet them the way I think most of meet people: drunk. No wait, I mean I meet friends’ friends, exes’ roommates, cute foreign interns at work. No wait, I mean…nevermind.

I have picked up a guy only once at a bar, and that was in San Francisco, not San Jose. And he was a fellow B&Ter. So maybe that’s it. Each weekend, we single geeks load up into our cars and drive up to the city to meet other SJers at the latest place-to-be-seen. Is that the San Jose dating culture? And what is it about the San Francisco dating culture that’s so great?

5 Comments so far

  1. Nancy (unregistered) on September 7th, 2006 @ 6:42 pm

    Having lived on the peninsula and futilely attempting dating, I have given this subject much thought over the years. I believe that the ‘SF dating culture’ of which you speak has more to do with NOT being overtly date-y – meaning, you go to events with friends and chat up a lot of people without it coming across as “looking to meet”. If you frequent places (or frequent hitting the latest/greatest place) you’ll start seeing other frequenters, and viola!

    Down south, there seemed to be fewer events that cloaked the dating angle – if they did, they put out ‘networking’ vibes, which were worse, in my opinion. So, you went out looking like you were looking, which is a very emotionally vulnerable position to be in.

    Personally, I’m not a good ‘cold dater’ – I tend to do best when I’m doing what I want to be doing anyway, and hey, if you happen to be into it too and we can check out US under the pretext of checking out IT, them I’m good. And big cities, with lots of ITs to check out, just make that so much easier.


  2. Lauren (unregistered) on September 7th, 2006 @ 6:48 pm

    Very very good points about checking IT out instead of each other. So true. And I agree that there is nothing worse than those networking events.


  3. anna (unregistered) on September 7th, 2006 @ 11:08 pm

    Man Jo is so bedroom, in the sense of residential, that I can’t imagine a dating scene there. Also the cars prevent you from meeting people on the sidewalk, where I meet 100% of my clients, I mean, boyfriends.


  4. Bradley Allen (unregistered) on September 7th, 2006 @ 11:18 pm

    Oh, you totally nailed it, Nancy. Well done. And I agree with both you and Lauren regarding anything with the whiff of ‘networking’ to it.

    Speaking of which, notice how (even in SF) such events tend to be not-so-cleverly disguised as some sort of ‘-mashup’, ‘-bash’, ‘-camp’, ‘-con’, etc? Ugh. Lame.


  5. Lauren (unregistered) on September 10th, 2006 @ 1:38 am

    According to my friend, if you like the ghetto chicks, San Jose is….”no comment…that isn’t niee”



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