SOMA Jack Shacks: Wank If You Dare
It’s not that I’d normally say a trip into a porn store or jack shack would be like, taking your life into your hands. Maybe I’d say it’s more like the threat of balloons a poppin’ boob jobs and caterwauling, haunted house style preview booths might be the biggest threat — to your libido and the clean soles of your shoes. But not so at the corner of sixth and Mission, where on Tuesday a dump truck crashed into the confusingly named Liberty Bookstore, releasing (ahem) a huge load (ah!) of dirt, which burst through the walls and flooded the “preview booths”. They actually used thermal imaging to see if anyone was trapped under the dirt, presumably in an air pocket with little more than a bottle of baby oil and a few errant wads of toilet paper for sustenance, with which the customer could survive (still clutching his tokens) until rescue teams were sent in.
No one was hurt. But while I make fun of the terrifying scenario at Liberty Books, it’s important to note seriously that sixth and Misison is a really really bad place to have a porn store — only a few years ago, a Muni crashed hard into the corner entrance to the sexily-named Golden Gate Adult Superstore on the opposite corner, injuring seventeen nuns and hurting lots and lots of copies of “Buffy the Vampire Layer #5″, “Dude, Where’s My Dildo?” and “Missionary Impossible”.
This cracked me up. Jack shack! Why did I never think of nor hear this before?
Seventeen nuns? Do these bookstores offer group rates, or something? (I kid, I kid)..
(off to say three Hail Marys)
I can’t believe I missed this! I had just walked through there not 10 minutes before. (Uhm, yeah. Late for work again.)
And uh huh. I remember the previous porn store instant drive-thru creation by MUNI a few years ago. And by all witness accounts, the MUNI driver literally turned the bus and headed right for the building. Of course, he was ushered away before any sobriety/drug tests could be taken. And MUNI never offered a public resolution/explaination. At least none that I was ever able to come across. Anyone know? (Though they did pay for the reconstruction of the store and the apt above that got slammed by the tossed light pole.)
And speaking of this particular ‘jack shack’: about a year or so ago (again in the morning, I think, like a Wednesday at around 8:30), I witnessed an SF swat team – with flourescently draped rifles surround the place in an attempt to take someone out of there. I chatted with the motley crowd to get the dirt but no one really knew other than ‘some fella went berserk!’
I think the lesson to be learned: a trip to “Genital Hospital” could lead to trips to the actual hospital.
Wasn’t there some other dump truck incident in that exact same spot? IIRC the redev agency is filling in basements with dirt in that area, and they can’t even seem to do that properly.
That muni incident also struck me (not literally) as strange. I never found any followup either.