Talking to Tourists
photo by Meghan S, age: 4 and 3/4ths
Sitting in a cafe, procrastinating on doing some work, I overhear a nice-meaning but flawed guy talking to a couple of tourists (courist). This experience compels me to coin two words:
Ickstening: Listening to bad advice, and feeling powerless to correct them.
Re-homing: Talking about your home in glowing terms to people who don’t know where it is.
The couple ask him where he lives, he replies: “I live in Exelsior, it’s like, south of here, in the hills. The hill area.” Approving and impressed oohs and ahhs all around. That’s re-homing. We all indulge in this to a degree, I think. I live in North Beach, OK, a block from the projects and without a view, but hey! North Beach!
Earlier on in the conversation, the tourists were asking about good sightseeing tours, such as, how to bike across the Golden Gate Bridge. Their idea, that he didn’t nix, was to leave the bikes in Marin (somewhere?). His advice: Rent the bikes, then throw them in a taxi and come home. That’s Ickstening. Because they could just hop on a ferry with the bikes. Or walk across and take a ferry back. I’m not really worried about these tourists. They’ve gotten into the vibe of SF and have just ordered more wine.
I was playing tourist last week when my sister and niece who is 61/2 months pregnant came to SF to visit me and stayed for a Monday-Friday time.I picked them up at the airport on Monday am,the United plane came from BWI,but came to rest at the International terminal instead of the United Terminal #3..so they had no notice as to where their luggage was,etc.Very bad on United’s part,then I took them into the city on Bart…and a cab to their hotel on Nob Hill.Of course this was May 1st,so there were lots of immigrants getting on Bart at 16th and Mission and all the stations along the way to Powell.Oh well,we made it…their rooms were not ready,and they were hungry so I took them to Dotties for brunch..and to my apartment in the Tenderloin..where I pay $520 a month for a studio..[I have been in the building 26 years,now they are $1,000 and up]For your information there are even homeless outside Nob Hill hotels,and bums in Yerba Buena park..just within view of the 2 million dollar condos at the St.Regis..and the $2,500/month apartment at The Paramount.There were more bums and homeless last Tuesday as we walked through there on our way to the MOMA…which my relatives didn’t like,and quickly asked me if we could leave and go shopping…so we did and they dropped a few thou at SF Centre..and Abercrombie and Fitch.I wined and dined them,taking them to The Empress of China,CoCo500,Original Joes,Colibri,Washington Square Bar and Grill,and also to Beach Blanket Babylon,and the new Martin Short show..they went on a 31/2 hour tour one morning..and had lunch at Scoma’s on the Wharf.A last trip to Dotties for breakfast on Friday and it was off in a cab to the airport,where they sat for 3 hours because of weather delays… oh well,at least I tried.At Sak’s they saw Oscar de LaRenta getting his trunk show together,and at Gumps they were not happy either.Even H&M held not their attention.I just think we are too sophisticated here in SF..and the rest of the world just doesn’t get what really matters..and is important.That just has to be it…Speaking of saying where you live…I live on Jones’terrace…