My Big MUNI Bitch

I am wandering San Francisco on a Jim’s Restaurant Sunday and in need of transportation to the Express for Men in the Stonestown Mall. How can I get there from downtown San Francisco? The MUNI of course!

Ah, but wait, to get on the MUNI you have to buy a single use ticket – $1.50 – in exact change. Okay, no problem, I’ll just make change… where? The MUNI transit officer tells me to use the BART ticket kiosk to make change. One useless BART ticket later I realize there is a little button on the side that gives change for MUNI.

Now ready to ride, I feed my quarters into the turnstile, circa 1945, and head onto the tracks. There, while trying to figure out where I’m going using the crap maps, I am bombarded by a constant barrage of computer-announced train arrivals and departures, all sounding the same instantly.

Once I finally figure out I want the M Line to Stonestown, two M trains have past. The trains are so short, two cars and maybe 20 feet long, don’t think I’m odd for missing them. Once in a M Line train, I actually like the ride, or well when I’m not wondering where we are. Seems only the major, not all the minor, stops are put on the MUNI maps, which means you have to guestimate when your stop is coming up.

As we left the tunnels and ventured onto streets in the median, it was nice to see cars yield to a train. Still, it wasn’t all that. Me, I’ll take a trolleybus over the MUNI any day.

8 Comments so far

  1. Jason D- (unregistered) on March 16th, 2006 @ 9:24 pm

    We do that to weed out the weak. If you’re too dumb to figure out how to get there you probably don’t deserve to arrive. Hence all the homeless people in the stations staring at their hands and asking what diaper it is on the prime star. It’s not like they don’t have confusing as fuck public transportation where you come from dude.

  2. wayan (unregistered) on March 16th, 2006 @ 10:06 pm

    In DC, we do not use the Soviet system of guilty until proven innocent – you pay to get on. On the MUNI, you can get on w/o checking to see if you’ve paid, but if you are caught, you get in deep sh*t.

    Standard Soviet paranoia – if we catch you, and you haven’t paid, then you are in deep sh*t. Kinda different than the American model…

  3. Benjamin (unregistered) on March 17th, 2006 @ 12:38 am

    I’m sorry but muni isn’t that hard. It would be even more annoying average commuter if it was easier for people who only use it once or twice.

  4. Dan (unregistered) on March 17th, 2006 @ 10:42 am

    People like you are the reason San Francisco sucks now. Please pack your shit and leave.

  5. keno (unregistered) on March 17th, 2006 @ 11:56 am

    Haha I got my extra BART ticket as well while making change, mind you I was fairly tipssy at the moment but that machine and the attendant are definetely evil.

    I’ve yet to experience a metro system that makes sense, and yes MUNI is disfunctional, but it makes up for that in character, so I love the thing.

    And Dan,could you be more especific while flaming,I can’t make it from your post weather you want wayan,jason or benjamin to leave town.

  6. MattyMatt (unregistered) on March 17th, 2006 @ 1:37 pm

    I can’t believe anyone is could blame Wayan for getting confused when the maps didn’t show his stop.
    (PS: I’m not following the Soviet thing at all.)

  7. courtney (unregistered) on March 17th, 2006 @ 2:43 pm

    in soviet russia, metro ride you.

  8. MattyMatt (unregistered) on March 18th, 2006 @ 1:21 pm

    did i seriously write “is could blame” in my comment yesterday? no more screwdrivers for lunch, mattymatt.

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