Condom-shopping Misadventure

That title caught your attention, didn’t it? Let this entry be evidence that I’m rarely too shy to reveal the inane details of my life. Not quite an experience unique to San Francisco per say, but I did experience this IN San Francisco, so I figure it counts as a Metblog post.

Now, I’m no stranger to buying the latex. I’ve always just walked in, got the pack from a shelf, bought it, and walked out. No fuss, no worry. However, that was not the case some time last week when I decided to head to a local drugstore to restock (Hint as to name of drugstore: Starts with W, ends with S). I looked from aisle to aisle, and couldn’t find them. I figured I was just not looking properly, and asked the cashier upfront where they kept the condoms. She said it was in a glass display case next to the pharmacy.

A glass display case? I thought. Odd. But whatever, I headed to the pharmacy anyway, and lo and behold a shelf of condoms await within a pristeen glass display case. I spotted the brand I usually get, and tried to open the case. Huh. It was locked. So I went back to the cashier, told her the case was locked, and asked if someone could open it. She then proceeded to grab a nearby microphone, and shouted into it:

“ASSISTANCE NEEDED. CUSTOMER NEEDS GLASS DISPLAY CASE NEXT TO PHARMACY TO BE UNLOCKED PLEASE.”

Ohhh-kay. I then saw quite a few of the other customers turning to see what exactly was in this mysterious glass display case next to the pharmacy. They then quickly turned away, as if they saw nothing. I refused to be embarrassed, so I just walked straight to the case, and waited for someone to show up. An assistant then walked up to me, brandishing a set of keys. He asked me which side of the shelf he wanted me to unlock. I pointed to the side I wanted, he unlocked the case, I took the pack out, and he locked the case again. Then I proceeded to buy the pack as usual at the cashier.

This was by far the most hassle I’ve had to go through just to buy a pack of condoms.

PS. I’m guessing the condoms were locked up because of a fear of condom thievery amongst youth. Just a theory though.

4 Comments so far

  1. dude, not saying - what if my mom reads this? (unregistered) on February 16th, 2005 @ 1:03 am

    May I suggest a trip to the virtual buffet that is the condom wall at Good Vibrations? Head to Polk street and select yourself some fun ones. There’s one with this pleausure pouch thing . . . Different, but fun!

    Reach back to your Wayne’s World watching days and say it with me: “ribbed for her pleasure. ewwwwwww.”


  2. fred (unregistered) on February 16th, 2005 @ 12:59 pm

    If no one has ever seen this movie, I highly recommend it. A group of directors including John Landis made a movie entitled “Amazon women on the Moon”. In the same theme as “Kentucky Fried Movie” from the 70′s. A series of comedy shorts that have a particular theme. The shorts range from groan to serviceable to downright knee-slappin’ funny. One in particular where a youth of about 15 or 16 goes into a drugstore to buy condoms. It’s the typical scene where he is just too embarrased asking the pharmacist behind the counter. Once he gathers up the courage, the pharmacist exclaims in his loudest voice that he is the 1 millionth customer of this particular brand of condom. Banners, balloons, confetti, marching bands, celebrity spokesperson all engulf this tiny pharmacy. Embarrasment 100x’s. Quite funny. I highly recommend it.


  3. Jasmeet (unregistered) on February 16th, 2005 @ 11:12 pm

    “Just a theory though”

    Do you mean just a hypothesis? A theory is usually something proven… a hypothesis is something that needs to be proven if it can be a theory. Moving on… =)

    Thievery is indeed correct. Something like this has happened at work before. Kinda funny, until we realized the kids didn’t take the instruction manuals. Whoops?


  4. Bronwyn (unregistered) on February 17th, 2005 @ 10:36 am

    Well, at least the theft of condoms implies the use of condoms, which is good news…right?!



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