Sausalito, 10:14pm, light rain

Hey great handbag. I know, I should’ve been gay. Too bad. I just like women WAY too much. I’m - what do they say? - born a lesbian in a man’s body. And she’s thinking, “okay, just get my car.” You were the Volvo?

Uh, Gray Ranger.

Right, Ranger. Which way are you going? I’ll flip it around and pull up right here.

K, thanks.

Here you go. Oh, cute umbrella too. Are you a designer, you must be a designer.

Um, no [laughs].

Well, you should be a designer. Hey, thanks, have a Merry Christmas. Driver carefully. Yeah, you have a great holiday. Have a good night.

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1. On the Night Before Christmas…
2. Will real men please stand up
3. Merry Christmas, San Francisco
4. Jingle Bells Downtown
5. An anti-Scrooge entry