Scenes from a parking lot
Overworked girl hustles from car to Linens and Things only to find that it’s closing and has but two poofs and a framed dog’s playing poker left for sale. For 70% off each, however.
Twitchy male hovers by car, noisly on cell phone: “Yeah, it was a $700 ticket, but I got it down to $100.”
Girl heads back to car and as she unlocks the door, twitchy male asks if there’s anything left in the story worth getting. He needs some mats. Puzzled at what kind of mats, girl responds, no, just crap left. TM twitches, says thanks. Girl gets in car, starts to shut door. TM waves frantically. G stops, looks. “Anywhere to eat around here?” he asks. G explains a few options. No good. He only wants to head south to his neighborhood. “Can’t he eat there,” G wonders.
She starts the car. Reaching for the brake release, she’s distracted by TM waving again. He asks about a decal on her rear window. She corrects his faulty assumption. He twitches. She reaches to roll up the window again. “What do you do?” he asks. “I work – legal work,” she reponds. “Law student,” he says. “Attorney” she replies, throwing caution and professional responsibility exam to the wind figuring that such answers usually shuts up similar males – all easily intimidated and likely to run away. He twitches some more. “Bye,” she says, rolling up her window. He stops twitching and leans on his car.
He leaps up in full twitch, makes the roll-down-the-window hand motion. “Yeah,” she asks wearily.
“Are you single?”
G drives away.
Boys and girls, I offer this to you as a warning and a lesson. Girls: this is San Francisco. The more bitter and rushed you seem, the higher the chance a twitchy male will make an ass of himself for your viewing pleasure. Better yet, just don’t roll down the window. Boys: really. Do you ever think such half-assed tactics work? Don’t pick people up in parking lots. And don’t talk about $700 tickets (I assumed “traffic” when I hear this story, some assume “airplane,” either way, it’s some shady business).
I offer this because our sister site had an item on LA dating and it struck me as odd that no one had addressed SF dating yet. It’s not something I know much about – so I thought I’d collect some stories. They weren’t good. Of course – the LA example wasn’t heartwarming for the womenfolk either.
So, I’ll punt to readers: SF Dating – hippie dream or yuppie nightmare? Marina mingling or SOMA slumming? Mission match-ups or Pac Heights prowling? Inquiring minds want to know . . .